“Comparison is the thief of joy,” my wonderful trainer once told me. I have carried that quote with me for years.

It is so easy to compare yourself in the horse world, especially when it comes to showing. Ours is a sport where, regardless of the rulebook, the playing field is never completely level. The reality is that finances shape opportunities. Top horses cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and even if you have the knowledge and patience to develop a young horse yourself, the cost of purchasing, training, boarding, showing, veterinary care, and farrier work adds up. There is no inexpensive path to success.

It can be difficult not to compare yourself when you walk into the warm-up ring and see someone riding one beautiful horse while their grooms are already preparing the next two. In the hunters especially, that comparison can feel impossible to ignore. Most riders, myself included, have one horse- one partner, one chance each class to put together the round we’ve worked so hard for. Meanwhile, someone else may have three horses in the same division: three opportunities to find the perfect distance, three chances to recover from a mistake, and, on a great day, three chances to sweep the ribbons.

Is that fair? I actually think it is.

Every horse is an individual, and each deserves the opportunity to compete. I don’t believe limiting entries is the answer. But just because something is fair doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting. Losing to someone who simply had three opportunities where you had one can be discouraging. That’s a feeling I think many riders quietly carry home from horse shows.

If I’m being truthful, for me, that feeling comes from envy. It’s not always easy to admit. Envy isn’t an emotion we’re proud of, but pretending it doesn’t exist doesn’t make it disappear. Of course I’ve imagined what it would be like to have a string of beautiful, experienced horses waiting for me at the ring. Who wouldn’t? Who wouldn’t wonder what it would feel like to have multiple chances at every class?

But then I remember what I do have- and how lucky I am to have it.

I have always had safe, kind horses. I am incredibly fortunate to have parents who have made so many of my dreams possible, and people around me who are willing to work hard to help make those dreams a reality.

I have one horse who tries every single time I ask. One horse I’ve celebrated with after great rounds and patted just the same after disappointing ones. One horse whose personality I know better than anyone else’s. One horse who has taught me patience, resilience, and gratitude.

That alone is an incredible privilege.

The comparison doesn’t disappear overnight. There will probably always be moments when I glance around the schooling ring and wonder what it would be like. And to those who do have a string of incredible horses-that’s wonderful, too. This isn’t about resenting anyone else’s success. It’s about recognizing how easy it is to compare someone else’s circumstances to your own and let that comparison overshadow everything you already have.

It’s easy to want more. But every time I let that thought linger, I lose sight of the horse standing beneath me.

Comparison doesn’t just steal joy- it steals gratitude!

It steals the excitement of a personal best because someone else’s looked flashier. It steals pride in your partnership. It steals the satisfaction of knowing how far you’ve come because you’re too busy measuring yourself against someone else’s journey. I’m on a journey to become a better person and a better horsewoman every day. Part of that means focusing on what I can control instead of what I can’t.

What I can control is how I show up for my horse. Because while someone else may have three chances to win, I have one horse who gives me everything they have every time we walk through the ingate. And when I remember that, I realize I’m already luckier than comparison would have me believe.