For the longest time, December felt so far away. When I first started this breeding journey, the idea of having a foal seemed almost surreal. There were so many steps, so much planning, and so much waiting that it was hard to imagine the day would actually come when there would be a little horse standing in front of me. I remember Olivia saying to me in the beginning, so you know at the end of this there’s going to be an actual baby horse…

So many numbers to crunch, and logistics to figure out. And convincing to do. And now, somehow, we’re almost there. It’s day 296 of Cleo’s pregnancy with my Fadalka-Zeldenrust X Indoctro ICSI foal.

In just a few weeks, I’ll hopefully be meeting a little piece of Fadalka, and I don’t think it’s fully sunk in yet. For anyone who knows me, my horse Fadalka is so much more than just a horse. She’s my once-in-a-lifetime mare, and the reason I’ve had so many incredible experiences in this sport. The opportunity to have a foal from her is something I’ve dreamed about for a long time, and knowing that it’s finally becoming a reality is both exciting and a little overwhelming. I think what makes this moment even more special is just how much my life has changed over the past year. I’ve transitioned from being a full time student and amateur, to being an adult amateur, Child Life Assistant, and part time student currently applying to over 15 practicums and internships to advance in my career. I always thought life would be boring after college, but it’s only gotten better and busier. The difference is truly that I love what i’m doing, love what i’m learning, and i’ve never felt more motivated. And for the first time, I’ve found something outside of horses that I’m passionate about. And while that’s been an incredibly exciting change, it’s also meant adjusting to a life that looks very different from the one I’ve known for so long.

I’ve started to appreciate a different side of having horses. One that doesn’t revolve around the horse show. And it’s brought me a kind of peace I didn’t realize I needed. I have FOMO when my team leaves town to show, but that’s more from just not being there to see everyone ride. I feel like now I can really just enjoy Fadalka. I can spend time grooming her, giving her treats, watching her be her usual dramatic self, and appreciating the fact that I get to have her in my life. I don’t have to measure our time together by how productive a ride was or whether we’re making progress toward a particular goal. And I think that’s been one of the most unexpected gifts of this chapter. I am so much more grateful for every day I get to spend at the farm because they now feel few and far between.

And with a foal on the way, I have a feeling the next few years are going to teach me a completely different kind of horsemanship. Instead of thinking about shows, I’ll be thinking about all the little milestones that come with raising a young horse. The first time I meet this foal, the first time I see its personality start to develop, and all the ordinary moments that come with watching a horse grow up. There’s something really exciting about starting from the very beginning.

I’ve spent so much of my life riding horses who already had their own experiences, habits, talents, and personalities. Now, I’ll have the opportunity to get to know a horse from its very first days and watch it become its own individual. And while I have plenty of dreams for this little one, I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself. I don’t need to know what division it’ll compete in someday or how talented it’ll be. Of course, I hope it inherits some of the qualities that make Fadalka so special, but more than anything, I just hope for a healthy, happy foal. That’s enough for me.

I think that’s something this whole experience has been teaching me: not everything has to be about what’s next. I’ve spent so much of my life looking forward to the next horse show, the next goal, the next opportunity. And now, for the first time, I’m really enjoying a chapter where I don’t have to rush toward anything. I’m excited to see what this foal will become, but I’m also excited to simply enjoy the process of getting there.

Learning that your relationship with something you love can change without becoming any less meaningful. To focus on my job, enjoy my horses, and look forward to welcoming a new little life into the world. It’s strange to think about how much has changed in such a short amount of time. A year ago, I don’t think I could have imagined how different my priorities would look today- and yet, I don’t feel like I’m leaving anything behind. If anything, I feel like I’m making room for more. But right now, it’s time to focus on the present, and enjoy every second of it.